Week 8 Lost: My comfort Zone

Week 8 Lost: My comfort Zone

 

I am becoming more aware of the words I choose and choose not to use and what exactly comes out of my mouth. I write what I mean and what  I use to take what seemed like an eternity to write a page of thoughts is now effortless. I can understand the heart of the message of a lady Mark J. shared of her decision making and the gap that was gone now.

Today I read the Press Release and tears started to fall. I have wanted so much to be rid of the emotions and now that I’m learning to embrace them. I soar with imagination and energy. Who would ever think I could bring this biggest fear into my life and accept it as a Gift from God

Reading the blogs of others gave me a joy this week that I’ve searched in my memories and did not find. We are all connected by this event. We see ourselves so different and miles from each other. Yet when I feel the words spoken in the words written, and try not to give meaning to them, something happens inside me. I see and feel  how we are connected and the Power that it gives us.

 

Now what. I read the Poem by Marianne Williamson “Our Greatest Fear” about a week and half ago. I decided I wanted the most powerful piece of music that would move my spirit. I knew what I wanted and focused till I found it. I wanted a powerful beyond measure DMP recording. I read the “how to” on the DC tab and oooooppppppsssss. Wasn’t expecting to receive more than I focused on. Every cell in my body felt the song and the tears just started again. I want to embrace the tears and can say the words, but sometimes it’s not working the way I want. This week especially. I’m reaching for the stars and hitting them.

 

I finished the recording and copied it to my phone and listened. Knowing full well I’ll take this to work – on the road and the Tears just rocked my whole being. I wanted powerful, I got it. My thoughts are more of how do I deal with MORE than I want. Well now I’m not sure if I go for the POA cards now or not. I have a equally powerful song in the same folder. I went to a Promise Keepers Event in Oakland at the Raiders Stadium with about 60,000 men and in another stadium were about 40,000 more men. My song is one we all sang together. That was about 100,000 Christian men worshiping God. Only one word describes this for me, “POWER” Then the enormous  blessing from heaven served us lunch. About 25,000 women/wife’s/daughters, grandmothers. I don’t have a problem wrapping my heart around the “Great this day with Love in my heart” after that.

 

This event was more than 20 years ago, and still moves me to my core, I don’t even understand it all to this day. It just does. I have been afraid to speak of it because of how it makes me feel and the emotions it stirs up.

 

This week I’m still working for 7 consecutive days without staying on a negative thought. I’m in a place that I’ve never been. I can see the reactions and the stimulus happening now and have slowed that down to. I wanted change and had an idea of what that would look like based on past successes and failures. This place I’m in is way beyond all that. I’m touching and walking with the real me and it scares me and brings tears, The fear that use to grip me with things is not even a full memory any more. And I read again the poem and the part “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Is starting to look possible and if that is where I’m at. How would I know. I’ve never walked in this field. I can’t find or need the Comfort Zone anymore.

 

This journey pleases me, scares me, is moving at the speed of light, impacts others in ways I fail to understand yet. Children like my grandkids respond differently, only one is old enough to talk. I need a new definition of success. Even my DMP seems weak now.

 

 

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17 thoughts on “Week 8 Lost: My comfort Zone

  1. Bob Watkins

    Robert, I am so happy for you! I’ve seen and felt your struggle and yes, we are all near harmony at this point. I felt a bit of a negative week but, the goose-bumps rising to the thought of 60K brothers, fathers and sons all singing in unison has washed that away. You have now affected my life and brought peace to my journey this week and certainly for weeks to come. Thanks for sharing your success and enlighten moments brother 🙂

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    1. masterkeyrea Post author

      Bob Thank You, back in 2008 in DC with the Promise Keepers there were close to 3 million men, worshiping God in the national Mall. I missed that I thought till I watched the video and found our mind doesn’t know the difference of real and imagined and experienced. We are connected and many don’t even know it yet.

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  2. debarnell

    Robert! Our Old Blueprint and Subby…aren’t very happy with us…the biggest Ah Ha…Anytime we feel out of sorts…it’s Old Subby! I’ve struggled myself…but we consistently do the work and “BAM” we see the change!
    Thanks for sharing ALL of you!

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    1. MKMMAwendyht

      Aloha Robert, BRAVO for having the courage to write your blog in such an open and authentic way. It’s a very inspiring blog. I look forward to reading your future blogs. Mahao for being part of the MKMMA journey. In Gratitude & with Light & Love

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      1. masterkeyrea Post author

        Thank You, The fear I had would never have allowed that to come about. Now I gain strength each time I reach out. The emotions are a little hard to control at the moment.

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    2. masterkeyrea Post author

      Thank You Debbie, I do see the light at the end of the tunnel and use wonder most why I was allowing this for so long, then I realized the OLD Blueprint was piling on the guilt. I stopped it in its tracks.

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  3. dannycl

    Robert, oh how far we have come. Funny about emotions and men. We are thought men don’t cry, yet we know better and still we fight to hold it back.Bless you for coming this far. Letting the tears flow has always surprised me, for I have shed many since joining the MKMMA. Your blog is one of those. Thank you. As scroll 2 reads I love the rain for it cleanses my soul. Tears are the rain from within. My soul must need a lot of cleansing.
    Peace.

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    1. masterkeyrea Post author

      Danny, Thank You also for your honesty. I personally have found since I’m working with the “embracing it” idea with the emotions and added it to my DMP. I call them rain drops from heaven. The forgiveness in my heart of myself
      and being able to move even with the emotions as brought me to the wonderful place of acceptance and gets better every week. My entire being is powered up now and I’m so happy with that change it feels incredible.
      You are so right about Men don’t cry. Now I give no excuses and explain to anyone if they ask, and that is usually a child. They are the real honest ones. I find the release of emotions is empowering me now and
      no longer is FEAR involved in the mix. Bless you and the journey we share. I need a person to mastermind with , are you willing to give that a shot?
      Let me know
      Robert

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  4. klwmasterkey

    Wow Robert! Amazing, I read your post the day you put it up… My phone died as I was commenting (sad face)
    I really connected with your raw, honesty, thank you

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  5. 52grossmasterkey

    Robert thank you for being yourself and allowing yourself raw emotions. You are a true inspiration. We struggle, we cry, we feel, we fight, we WIN!

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    1. masterkeyrea Post author

      Barbara, Thank You for your encouragement, I read your blog and seems like you have had some close calls with the tornado. Grateful you are all OK. Being who I am is new and the speed of this change has made a few paths for my brain to figure out. Things are happening with my family and friends and this give me confirmation I rolling down the right path. I want it to slow down, yet I keep praying “what is the wise thing to do?”Seems like slow is not part of the path yet. Just so you know, leaving FEAR to atrophy and moving with LOVE in my heart has hit me so normal, I’m stunned. I am getting a very good taste of exactly “who I am” within, and though it still is scary, I’m embracing it more each day.

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  6. masterkeyrea Post author

    Barbara, Thank you for kind thoughts. As I read different posts, I see many are working on the “who we are” and we should all get there in different ways and end in the same place.

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